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90...REMOVED ENTRY ...REMOVED ENTRY 1...REMOVED ENTRY 2...REMOVED ENTRY 3...REMOVED ENTRY dear...~REMOVED POST 4...cleared 10987654321VandancesBollywood~...Link to Video/ Video URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdGiocQl8ss that's my lovely sister Van in the green dance pants and black sweatsuit spaghetti strap top...learning Bollywood steps for the Annual Cabaret show at INSEAD ( SinGaPORE Campus) next week. [...] I need to get away from (gay or not gay?!?) thinking.
What's the word? Dismay. [...] V is INSEAD -Paris Campus bound [...] [...] [...] laugh trip: listen to the instructor say in Singlish, " In ,Out, In, Out..." funny. and at the same time (re: gay or not gay?!?) not funny. [...] qbascgzrqs~......Game and watch/Family Computer Pong.This does not help F.avoid the evils of burning out.Snuffle E.couldn't be a fag.Noooo! god.Why?!? Again,I'm not sure if Snuffle is a real man. Tsk.He says things that make F. swoon and sigh...but you know,F.has no idea about how Snuffle acts when w/ F.and w/ orange lights. b.tapdance?!? (F.'s going to ask a hug from her mom na muna. Haaaay.) confusedandburningout~...a.tapdance?!? maybe no one is really going to tell me that the love of my life is gay.same as nobody told me that S.got Purrfec pregnant before the wedding last July.No one tells you these things. I'm sad.August,2008: i thought that i rcvd the big and the great sign that love of my life is NOT gay. Plays Pong.Likes Pong.Not ping pong. 12345678910~...the first full moon night in 5 years...last night. Mr. E did not show that he thinks of me. the first time in 5 years.
of all the cruel things that Mr. E. has ever said to me
the worst has been to call me a drama queen.
my friends call me a drama queen too
but out of much love
fierce love even
Mr. E. says it with much hatred
and with much malice.
reeks of "...blahblahblah jests at scars... who never felt a wound"
he didn't keep his promise to call.
he didn't keep his promise to write
...when things are no longer stressful
Ma'am says, " life is stressful. everywhere. you have it easy. in fact, your life is a peach."
F. is miserable and sad because of a guy named eddin.
and hey...there are billions of guys named eddin in the world, yeah?
mr. horrible beastly eddin snufflelafaggus.
that's his name.
i'll have to remember why my very shitty Atty. Dad loved "the merchant of venice" so much.
there just has to be some useful arsenal in it somewhere
becuase. Mr. E couldn't be worse than my very shitty Atty. Dad.
if he were...
now, F. would have to be Ms. F jive turkey too
along with sad and miserable.
but F's just miserable and sad connection~...cleared pamana~...Grandmama didn't like Atty. Superproxy ex husband to be # 3. I skipped out on my own wedding plans last december because a part of me got very scared. Scared that Atty. Superproxy ex husband to be # 3 would "lord it over" eventually, knowing that the old san juan house goes to me (if mom dies ahead of me), knowing that he'll always have money, as my husband, if he ever chooses to be like my very shitty Atty. Dad ~ beat up the wife and the mother in law ....to get whatever it is that he wants.
Grandmama looked at me, and asked, " Francess, siya ba? Ayaw ko."
Me: Grandma, grandma. Abugado siya.
Grandma: " And so? ano ngayon kung abogado? Mukhang salbahe, apo ko."
~0~
Grandmama gave me an occupation, as early as when I was 3. In one day, Bryan's Song playing in the background, she taught me solfeggio. She taught me how to read music notes, in one day. Left hand and right hand. Her favorite song was La Paloma. She also liked Noche Azul and Estrellita. That's why I have an Estrella in my very long name.
Music, was to be my fall back. The family, thinking of fall backs. tsktsktsk. I was only 3!
A few days before she left, so suddenly, we were able to sing " Sampaguita" together. She could still recite the words, if not sing. At 101 years old.
She died of asphyxia. And her doctor shot her with penicllin, last february. She's allergic to penicillin, we told him. Obviously, he didn't hear. She had pneumonia, last february.
Grandmama's pamana to me?
Teaching me Music.
And my ancient...no...priceless violin.
I never told anyone from UE graduate school that I'm a violinist....while I was still a student of the 7th floor.
I revealed my talent nalang, after the pesteng 50 50 had been smashed to death.
I played for the books inside the library...and for Fely...my favorite librarian. And for Verni. assistant librarian.
I think I'm the only girl who has ever played the violin, inside the 7th floor's library.
Estrella nga. Define Estrella? That's me.
~0~
My idols? Levi Celerio (of course) and Redentor Romero. Redentor Romero used to go to the house and play for Grandpa Nicanor.He used to accompany my Grandpa at Toastmasters' events in Manila, way back in the day. Grandpa would sing like Bing Crosby. Or recite "If" to R. Romero's playing.
What do I like to play the most?
1. Minamahal Kita. ( A Kundiman)
2. Hatinggabi ( Another Kundiman) ~ just because it's a family vignette...I studied how to play Hatinggabi for my Mama~ after she watched Coke Bolipata on tv and she complained, " Francess, hija...iyan lang, hindi mo pa matugtog. Mahirap ba iyan? hindi naman. Pag-aralan mo nga. For me." So I did. And I didn't have to ask my violin professor to help me.
3. You turned the tables on Me. ~ I loved listening to Benny Goodman when I was still in college. My ears picked up the melody of my version from the RCA long playing of Benny Goodman's platinum album.
4. Yumeji's Theme
5. Saan Ka Man Naroroon ( another Kundiman)
6. Symphony in G minor ( Mozart) ----> my gulpi de gulat from noong unang panahon....in other words- " the 'i don't care if you don't think i'm special...go ahead and take a load of this.shrivel up and die afterwards, please.' recital piece"
7. Czardas ( Monti) ----> the " please stay away from me...stupid useless men" piece
~0~
it's my hidden talent. everyone must have a hidden talent. you talk about it, but you only share it with your loved ones. it's why Mr. Atty Superproxy ex husband to be # 3 fell in love with me. Ok, so first, it was my kiss. then my violin playing. and he also loved my stories. he loved " Flashlight", the most.
~0~
In Grandmama's letter to me, leaving the violin to me, she wrote :
"....because I love you. Play. Love, Grandma "
~0~
Yes, Grandma.
Send husband # 1 and only muna, ok?
I'm getting so lonely and so depressed. It's starting to show and to get the better of me...how can I play lovely Grandma? You know me....
~0~
isang lingon sa pinanggalingan part 2 ~...Tapos, wala na akong maalala from my UE graduate school days after May 2008. The sky fell on my head and the 50-50 came in. Ok, so I still remember the events from 2008 that happened inside school, but not much from all those adik-adik nights of finishing my graduate thesis. I remember Atty. Bananas superproxy guardian devil ex- future husband to be # 3, I remember spending a few more hours with Manong Paul and Ate Dina and Ate Fely at the graduate school office last Dec 3 2008. I treated them----> Jollibee only -----> and they were in the room while I was signing my EXIT papers. I kissed Ate Dina before leaving my beloved 7th floor. We celebrated my getting the Master Teacher Francess the night before graduation rites. Twas just Jollibee palabok, burger steak meals, and chicken joy meals~ but that's why I call these people my UE graduate school family. I miss them and I hope that they know how much I love them. Because they cared for me. For close to 2 years...they were a part of me... everyday of those close to 2 years. And for about a year..I think I was Ms. Mister Donut girl and Ms. KFC girl, because I'd bring them merienda from Mister Donut or KFC...as a consuelo since I was so busy beating the 50-50 to death~I couldn't just "sit and do nothing" with the UE graduate school loves of my life.
Yun lang. I had to make lingon sa pinanggalingan because life is about not sitting on your laurels and about moving forward.
We chose something else for me. Atty.Raymundo wasn't the initial plan pala. It wasn't. At all.
I'm relieved because I know that I meant it when I told everybody..that the Master is sick of studying. The Master is tired. The Master has nothing to prove to anyone and the Master should just live quietly so that she can stop using the term " husband to be" soon and marry.
Could be?
Nope. it's
Only Be.
and of course
I
 U.E.isang lingon sa pinanggalingan part 1~...Noong 1st day ko sa University of the East Philippines (Manila Campus) Graduate School, I wore black. I told Mang Felix to park and to wait for me hanggang dismissal because 9:00 pm pa ang dismissal ko. First period was Intro to Descriptive Linguistics. 9-12 Tapos, Structures of English 1-5. Tapos Business Statistics for Higher Education 5-9. Everyday iyon. Mula April 24 2007 to June 5 2007. 1st day, hintay kami ng hintay ng mga Tsekwa sa room. Medyo kamukha ko nga yung isang Tsekwa, si Demi/ Snow. Dalawa-dalawa ang pangalan ng mga Tsekwa, alam niyo ba iyon? While waiting, ako, I was scribbling words down on a notebook. To look busy, at para hindi ko na kailangan kausapin ang mga Tsekwa. Sa notebook ko : " Am I in the right room?" " What are you doing?" " You can do this. 54 units lang naman itong lahat. Nothing. Chicken feed compared to your Ateneo years." [ In retrospect, hindi pala chicken feed. Fried chicken. Prito ka sa sarili mong mantika, para maluto ka. Oh, diba. Ang deep nanaman nun. Nakita niyo ba iyung paradox doon? Hindi nakita ng mga mata niyo? Ay...mga bulag? Alis diyan, mga blind.]
Naroon rin ang " Agent of the Golden Island" One of my stories. Siyempre, si Charlie sa story, based nanaman kay Mr. E. All my male bidas [ characters] look like Mr. E. Not all, but most. Haha. Para bang si Goya?
Free cut noong 1st day. Paglabas ko, hanap ako ng hanap sa car ko at kay Mang Felix. Wow. He made me walk, Felix the Cut. ( the Cut as in short cut daw pero sa totoo lang, super long cut ang route niya) at doon siya nag-park sa tabi ng San Sebastian. I got scared pa nga because I had to cross the street to get to the parking lot near SS. I had to tell myself, " Oist, F. Look muna sa right, then sa left...ok? Go! You can do it. "
Then, when I met na my professors [sina 50-50] , my routine changed. Wake up at 9:00..do nonsense stuff. Bihis na ng 11 am. Tapos, ask Jay to buy KFC, or Chowking, or McDonalds or Jollibee, for my Structures of English class. Sa UE graduate school~ Bawal ang Gutom. Empty bellies = Empty Coconuts. Therefore, feed your belly for the greater good of your coconut.
My friend, Jose "Joey" Matias [ who owns a shipping yard near Stop & Stop] [ same bipolar Joey ...gay as gay can be...na nambato ng softdrinks ...siyempre, si Ako ang nabato ng softdrinks and same Joey na nag cat fight with Li-ying c.2008] would have our cigarette breaks near the Gastambide/ Dalupan gate. He used to treat me for Bonitas Burger, but I didn't eat the burgers. Hawak ko lang, tapos I'd let him eat the buy 1 take 1 rin. Afraid ako, eh.
Kasi,
Joey [ c.2008]: Hoy, Rrrrrrrrrrose! Rose! Halika,,,,bilis!
Rose Francess: Joey. Don't want. Ayaw ko. That's CR of the boys, ano. Baka habulin ako ni mamang guard and Manong Paul. ----> akala ko, Paul ang pangalan ni Manong Paul, Senior Pinland boy.
Hindi pala.
Master Francess Raymundo na ako, noong nalaman ko na....Taran! Hipolito pala ang kanyang....
what?
Surname! Kaya siya Paul. rock!
Dr. Lacuata [ my good friend who is the Dean of the Graduate School sa NTC ~ National Teacher's College] : Rose! My girl...ok lang. Tingnan mo lang. come inside.
Joey: Rose, dungaw ka sa ibaba.
Rose Francess: Ayaw ko. Baka hotdog ng kanino iyang makita ko, Joey, ha. Lagot ka sa akin bakla, ha.
Joey: Nakita mo?
Rose Francess: Alin?
Joey: Doon. Sa ibabang baba.
Rose Francess: (scream and shriek inserted)
Dr. F. Lacuata and Joey: (Pinagtatawanan si Rose Francess inserted) (Laughing at me inserted...in other words)
Rose Francess: Naman eh. Inuto niyo nanaman ako. I hate you. Kayong dalawa. Waaaah. I don't want to see cadavers being dissected! Saan galing iyon? Anong course iyon?
Bonitas burgers = galing sa human cadavers? sa cats na binubutan ng ngipin ng UE dentistry undergrad? Ewwwwwww....
Favorite ko lang, eh iyong fruit shake sa harap ng Gastambide gate/Dalupan gate. Ok lang for Joey to make me libre for that. Hindi ako tumatanggi. Favorite ko, strawberry shake and buko shake. Kami lang ni Joey ang astig na "prens" na magyo-yosi while going down sa stairs from the 7th floor to the ground floor, kapag busted ang elevator.
Smoking is not bad for you. It's bad for the Pinland boys and girls. Sila magwawalis ng cigarette butts and cigarette ashes niyo eh.
Favorite gate ko rin iyon,,,kasi the guards would always call me Ma'am Beauty...kahit noong mini Miss piggy-piggy pa ako c.2007...summer of 2007.
( to be continued...) memo box~...removed entry |
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